


4 songs that make me want to marry you

by tpressheath



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, fluff and also pg-13 fluff if you know what I mean, that's all I'm tagging because I never know what to tag so goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22851700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tpressheath/pseuds/tpressheath
Summary: 3 times tobin says she’s going to marry christen—one time christen finds out just how long she’s meant it
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 14
Kudos: 175





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> blessed-thomas rhett

**The lights are down, but you're shinin'**

**Like you always do**

**Every day, I'm reminded**

**Of the miracle of you**

Going to Church had always been more of a treat to Tobin than anything else. After Age twelve when she started spending weekends in various states across the country with the youth national teams and the development programs, she was hardly ever around to join her family at Sunday services. 

Despite this —Tobin never let herself fall away from her religion. No matter where she was on any given Sunday, she would always make time for it, to pray and reflect on the many things in her life she was thankful to have and to be doing. 

When she thought about meeting someone—she always imagined it would be someone who shared her love of faith, imagined waking up on Sunday mornings with her wife and kids and attending services at their local church. 

She had dreamed of getting married in the same church that her parents and both her sisters had.

And maybe she didn’t get exactly what she thought she wanted. But with Christen she had all of those things and more in a way she never thought was possible. 

Christen wasn’t religious—but she never missed a beat at night when Tobin would take a few minutes to herself to read her bible.

She would lay silently next to her girlfriend and read a book of her own—sometimes she would watch Tobin, studying her face or even reading over her shoulder. Or she would meditate beside her, coexisting in their own peaceful bubbles.

Some nights Christen would ask Tobin to read the pages to her—to share her beliefs and her thoughts on whatever passages she was reading that night. 

And those moments—no matter what either of them believed in or didn’t believe in respectively—those were moments where the two women felt more connected than ever. 

It was something Tobin hadn’t expected—had been fearful that their differing beliefs could be a point of contention between the two. 

  
  


_ They had been up late together one night at camp, before they were officially together, but close enough that they had begun dancing the thin line between friends and someth;ing more.  _

_ “Tell me about God? Or _ — _ the God you believe in anyway…” Christen had asked in a small voice that startled Tobin out of her thoughts as she had been engrossed in reading the same bible she had brought with her everywhere since she was ten years old. _

_ “You… you want me to tell you about God?” Tobin had questioned, a bit unsure as she stepped out of her own bed and walked across the room to Christen’s, sitting on the edge a little nervously. _

_ “Yeah...I want to hear about what you believe in.” Christen smiled shyly in the dim light of the room, switching on the lamp that hung next to her bed and sitting up against the headboard, making space for Tobin and patting the bed next to where she was sitting _ , _ signalling Tobin to move into the space beside her where she had pulled back the blankets. Tobin couldn’t help but stare a little at the way Christen was glowing under the low quality hotel lamp _ — _ her curly hair was piled up into a messy bun on the top of her head and her green eyes looked tired but were shining as bright as always.  _

_ It didn’t take long for Christen to pick up on Tobin’s not so brief admiration _ — _ blushing under her gaze and dipping her head down, alerting Tobin that she had been found out.  _

_ Tobin let out a nervous breath before standing and repositioning herself next to Christen, underneath the covers. Their legs were pressed together under the sheets and Tobin went to correct the matter when Christen’s hand reached out and stopped her leg gently with a palm on Tobin’s thigh. She smiled sweetly at Tobin _ — _ silently asking her to stay how she was to which Tobin happily obliged, not picking up on the way the gentle touch lit a fire in the other woman. _

_ “So uh… I’m not really sure where to begin.”  _

_ “What do you see when you think of God? I don’t know if that’s a weird question _ — _ I’m sorry…” Christen smiled shyly, ducking her head in a way that Tobin found incredibly endearing. _

_ “It’s not weird _ — _ ” She responded, “I guess _ — _ I don’t know if I really see a specific image when I’m praying or something _ — _ It’s more like I can feel him you know? Like I can feel his presence and I know that he’s listening.” _

_ “What makes you believe in him? Like how do you know in your heart that he’s there?”  _

_ Christen asks and Tobin knows that she’s not judging her _ — _ knows that she is genuinely curious to know about how Tobin thinks. _

_ “I guess _ — _ to me it’s just something that I choose to believe. I don’t like to force my beliefs on other people and I don’t think it’s right to judge others for what they believe in or don’t believe in when it comes to this stuff _ — _ like I’m not offended when someone says they don’t believe in god as long as they can respect the fact that I do… so to me it’s just this conscious choice of mine everyday to wake up and believe that I have this _ — _ power _ — _ watching over me and the people I love. Even though my family is pretty serious about religion they never like...forced their specific beliefs on us _ — _ they would share with us what they believed and encourage us to think about it and take it how we saw it in our own eyes. I really respect them for that because so many people think that they have to believe what their parents do point blank, but I’ve never once felt like my parents would hate me for looking at something differently than them. Like when I came out _ — _ I cried a lot trying to figure out where being gay left me in God’s eyes. When I told my parents I asked them if they thought God still loved me… and even though my dad struggled a bit more with it than my mom he looked me in the eyes and promised me that I would always have the love of God. Anyway...long story short, I really respect him for putting aside his own concerns and feelings to make sure that I felt loved and accepted. I think a lot of people are kind of surprised when they find out I’m so religious because I guess I don’t “give off that vibe” to them but to me it’s just who I am _ — _ it’s always been a part of my life, and the way I think about it has changed a bit overtime but it’s always been there for me one some form or another.”  _

_ “What kinds of things do you pray about?” Christen asks, eyes sparkling as she nods along calmly, taking in every word Tobin offers, her hand squeezing and rubbing soft circles on Tobin’s thigh the whole time.  _

_ “My family a lot _ — _ the people I care about, I’m always praying for them to be safe and happy and healthy _ — _ I pray a lot about the things I’m thankful for _ — _ obviously all the opportunities I’ve been given and the privilege that I know I have. But the biggest one is the people in my life _ — _ my family, friends...you…”  _

_ “Me?” Christen’s eyes go wide, biting the corner of her lip in a shy smile as Tobin’s cheeks flush at the admission. “You’ve prayed about me?”  _

_ “I uh _ — _ yeah… yeah I have. Quite a bit actually… I pray that you’ll always be a part of my life.” Tobin’s face is on fire and she can’t quite believe that she just admitted that to the woman beside her, she’s about to start panicking when Christen breaks the momentary silence. _

_ “Tobin _ —” Christen breathes out and then before either woman can really take in what’s happening, she leans forward and kisses Tobin. It’s soft and slow, as she takes her time—not wanting the moment to end. It takes Tobin a second to really grasp what is happening before she’s twisting her body to a better angle—bringing a hand up behind Christen’s neck to pull her in closer. 

_ They kissed for longer than either woman remembers _ — _ pulling away after a long while, lips swollen and red, hair tousled and cheeks flushed before Tobin admits that she’s prayed for this moment as well.  _

_ “I might not pray to god in the same way you do but I have definitely prayed for this moment too Tobin.” Christen admitted before swinging her leg over Tobin’s hips and getting right back down to what they’d started.  _

///

**You're too good for coincidence**

**And too perfect for an accident**

**And I'm not sure where Heaven is**

**But every night, I get a glimpse**

Tobin had been certain —since the very first time she really met Christen—on the younger woman’s first day of camp, that their paths were meant to cross. 

She never expected in her wildest dreams that she’s be so lucky as to have Christen in this way—to love her, to live this life with her—to plan for the future together and find her home in a person as incredibly empathetic, kind, intelligent, and breathtakingly beautiful as Christen Press. 

Her heaven was in Christen’s arms. There was nowhere and nothing as comforting to Tobin as feeling Christen’s arms wrap around her body. Home had never been a simple concept to her—she never felt the sort of familiar attachment to one place enough to call it home. But the second she felt Christen’s arms around her for the first time—the first night they slept in the same bed and the night Christen learned that Tobin  _ loved _ to be the little spoon—was the first night Tobin had ever truly felt at home. 

/

_ “Admit it! You like to be the little spoon!” Christen chuckled teasingly at a pouting Tobin. _

_ “No I don’t.” Tobin grumbled under her breath. _

_ “Oh no? So you don’t want me to hold you to sleep again tonight?” Christen rolled her eyes and raised her eyebrows as fear struck Tobin’s face.  _

_ Her eyes went wide- “I—fine! Okay fine I like to be the little spoon—but only with you…” Tobin admitted, rolling her eyes and getting under the covers, wasting no time and pulling Christen down to lay behind her.  _

_ “You’re adorable.” Christen whispered, arms wrapping tightly around the shorter woman’s frame and placing gently kisses along the base of her neck.  _

_ “Lucky for you I love to hold you.” She whispered, pushing herself impossibly closer against Tobin’s back. “I promise I won’t tell anyone your little secret.” _

_ Tobin sighed contently—and truthfully she didn’t care who knew anymore, she felt so at peace in Christen’s arms that she would shout it from the rooftop.  _

/

**And I know I'm blessed**

**Watching you spin in that dress**

**Makin' my heart beat out my chest**

The height of Tobin’s appreciation for Christen’s acceptance of her religion was when she would join the older woman at church. Tobin takes a lot of pride in walking into church with Christen by her side. 

She never expected the other woman to go with her —it wasn’t something that she required of her girlfriend, but when Tobin rolled out of Christen’s bed one morning in her Chicago apartment, mumbling that Julie and Alyssa had asked if she wanted to join them at church the morning, Christen simply rolled out after her and began to get ready. 

“You want to come?” Tobin’s eyes lit up in a way that Christen knew was reserved for the things she loved; soccer, her family, and Christen herself.

“Of course I do. You’re only here for the weekend,  _ and _ we rarely get this kind of time together, you think I’m going to let you leave me for two hours? Not a chance.” Christen winked, pulling on one of her more casual dresses she owned. “I also love you and care about you and your beliefs—I want to be a part of that part of your life. It’s really important to you so it’s really important to me too.” 

“I love you too Chris—that really means a lot to me.” Tobin smiles adoringly at her girlfriend and down the road she would describe this as one of those small moments where she knew Christen was the one for her. Where she knew that this woman she had managed to win the affections of was too perfect for her to be anything other than God’s work. 

  
  


Something about being in Church with Christen made Tobin feel empowered. Made her feel like every part of her life had come together as one and that she could do anything in the world right now. Sitting there, watching Christen’s face out of the corner of her eye as she takes in every word being spoken, her hand resting subtly on Tobin’s thigh throughout the entire service. 

After the service had ended, the four women had been making an exit when a young child had stopped Christen and complimented her dress —which of course led to Christen breaking out into a huge smile that turned into a fifteen minute conversation with the young girl. 

Tobin watched from a few feet away—admiring the way Christen’s knee length dress was flowing in the slight breeze as she twirled around in circles with the girl doing some sort of dance. 

“You’re drooling Tobs.” Julie had teased, nudging Tobin and knocking her off balance due to the distraction. 

“Can you blame me Jules?” Tobin let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. “She’s perfect.” Tobin whispered so quietly that Julie thinks she didn’t mean to say it out loud. 

“I’m glad you feel that way—if anyone deserves to have someone look at them the way you look at her, it’s Christen.” Julie’s voice is light but serious, and Tobin can tell that the blonde has spoken with Christen about her. 

“Zach looks at you that way—I’ve seen it.”

“Oh I know, I’m a lucky bitch too. She really loves you Tobs—seriously, she’s crazy about you in the best way.” 

“I’m gonna marry her—” Tobin responds as if she’s realizing it for the first time—although that certainly isn’t the case, she hasn’t however told Christen as much—they’d only been together for a couple months. 

Julie takes in a small breath at her friend’s admission. “Have you told her that?” She asks with a playful grin.. 

“I—well, no...” 

“You should—trust me, she’s not going to be scared away like you’re thinking. I’m glad you two got your heads out of your asses and made something happen—and I love a good wedding sooo.” Julie teased, giving her friend and teammate a quick hug before walking over to where Alyssa was talking with someone Tobin didn’t recognize. 

Tobin smiles nervously as she thinks about Julie’s words—and truthfully it’s nothing new. She’s known since the very beginning that Christen was it for her. But everytime she thought about marrying Christen she got a very specific feeling in her stomach that is reserved for Christen Press. A feeling she knows she’ll only ever have for her.

**Baby, you're the kind of girl that I've always prayed for**

**And I swear by my dying breath that I will be faithful**

**Oh, baby**

**'Cause I'm on my knees (I'm on my knees)**

**Whoa, you make me believe**

**Baby, I'm blessed (blessed)**

Tobin knows how lucky she is to be with Christen —knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wants to spend the rest of her life cherishing the woman who is undeniably the most beautiful person to ever grace the earth.

**“** You’re unreal…” Tobin breathes, dropping to her knees in front of Christen.

“Tobin…” Christen feels her face flush red as the sound of Tobin’s voice mixed with the dark look in her eyes washes over the younger woman. 

“God Tobin—if you keep looking at me like that I’m going to come before you even touch me.” Christen whines, throwing her head back as a warm feeling shoots through her body while Tobin drags her hands up the backs of her thighs. 

Tobin just hums, raking her eyes torturously slow up and down Christen’s body. She’s wearing nothing but a small pair of silk sleep shorts and a lace bralette that hardly covers anything at all. 

“You’re an angel…” Tobin whispers, her voice was strained and raspy and Christen leg’s feel weak as Tobin worships on her knees. 

Looking up at Christen through her lashes, Tobin’s eyes are an impossible mixture of adoration and lust. She leans forward, kissing Christen’s stomach, soft and slowly, breathing in the younger woman’s scent as her hands travel further upwards and cup Christen’s ass under the fabric of her shorts. 

Tobin is almost too distracted by the sight in front of her to even notice the effect she is having. 

To notice the way Christen’s biting down on her lip so roughly that she’s only seconds from drawing blood. 

To notice the heavy rise and fall of Christen’s chest as she grips the covers of the bed tightly in the palms of her hands.

And they’ve done this a thousand times over the past few months—undressed each other—made love—fucked in every corner of Tobin’s Portland condo—or Christen’s Chicago apartment.

But Tobin has never looked at her like  _ this.  _

And Christen is struggling to breath as Tobin’s feather light touch reaches her hips and she pushes lightly to spin Christen around so that she’s facing the bed—her ass coming to a stop directly in front of Tobin’s face. 

“You’re perfect.” Tobin whispers against one of her favourite places on Christen’s body—the pronounced dimples at the base base of where her back meets her butt as she tugs on the silky fabric of Christen’s shorts, bringing them down over her ass until they can drop down her legs to the floor. 

Christen isn’t entirely sure what brought this on—but she does know one thing for sure, being that she never wants this moment to end—and also that she has definitely never been  _ this _ turned on before. 

“Tobin—'' Christen pleads, voice cracking as one of her girlfriend’s hands pressed firmly against her lower back, signalling her to lean forward—she obliges of course, leaning forward until her chest and cheek are pressing into the mattress. 

Tobin ignores the wordless plea, knowing exactly what Christen is asking for but not being ready quite yet to give it to her. 

Tobin continues her worship—kissing down the backs of Christen’s legs as her fingers trace firmly up the fronts, always stopping right before she touched where Christen wanted her. 

When Tobin felt she had adequately covered every inch of Christen’s legs, she rose to her feet, leaning her body over Christen’s and performing the same actions across the smooth skin of Christen’s back. 

She kissed every muscle—every dimple—every inch of the soft caramel skin that Tobin could recreate the colour of in her sleep at this point. 

Christen’s body was on fire—breath hitching every time Tobin’s hands touched somewhere even close to where she desperately needed. 

“You asked me one time what I see when I think of god…” Tobin speaks suddenly as she continues her actions, voice low and full of need. “I see him in you. I see everything in you Christen. You are the embodiment of all my faith—everything I believe in and everything I need. You’re my heaven on earth.” Tobin flips Christen suddenly with an arm tightly wrapped around her waist, pulling her further up the bed so she can lay down completely. Tobin takes the time to make sure there is a pillow under Christen’s head when she lays back before pressing a kiss to her temple—

Her nose—

Her cheeks—

Her lips—

Her jaw—

Her neck—immediately finding the place that she knows makes Christen go weak and causes her hips to buck up, sucking on it just hard enough to gain that exact reaction. 

“Fuck Tobin—god please touch me—please I need to feel you baby.”

Tobin hums at the sound of Christen’s pleading voice—strained and needy as her hands reach up to try and maneuver Tobin to where she wants her. 

Tobin is quick to stop that—collecting Christen’s arms and restraining them above her head on the mattress. “Keep these here, love.” She whispers, against the skin that covers Christen’s prominent hip bone. Tobin lets go of her hold on the younger woman’s wrists and pauses to make sure she’s going to listen. “Good girl.” She smiles, watching the way Christen’s body shudders at the praise. 

“I’m going to make you feel good angel, I promise… let me take care of you” Tobin has made her way between Christen’s legs, spreading them apart slowly while massaging Christen’s muscular thighs in her hands. 

Christen groans out, her eyes rolling back as she tries hard not to let her voice crack. “—no one can make me feel the way you do.” Christen sighs, head thrown back into the soft pillow beneath her as Tobin kisses the insides of her thighs only a few inches from where she really wants her.

Tobin finally finishes her slow assault, pushing Christen’s legs further apart and hooking them over her shoulders, hands gripping onto Christen’s hips as she breathes Christen in. 

When Tobin finally caves—finally gives in to what both women desperately wanted, she lets out a sound that almost sends Christen over the edge on its own. 

“Fuck T—” Christen cries as Tobin repeats her action, taking her time and focusing intently on every single swipe of her tongue. 

Tobin goes down on her like it’s the last thing she’ll ever get to do. Every single movement she makes is tailored to exactly how she  _ knows _ Christen wants it—needs it. Christen keens off the bed, raising her hips into Tobin’s mouth. Christen thinks that they haven’t been together long enough for Tobin to know her  _ so _ well—to know exactly what she needs and where and when she needs it. But then again—it’s always been like this, since the first time Tobin had always been able to read Christen’s body and work it up expertly like there was some sort of manual she had read beforehand. 

Christen’s head is thrown back and it’s taking everything in her not to grab onto Tobin’s hair, knowing that her girlfriend will pull away if she moves her hands away from her sides. 

“—taste so good Chris—you’re so good.” Tobin moans, tongue never slowing down as she brings one of her hands up and without missing a beat, inserts two fingers and revels in the constant jumbled stream of words falling from Christen’s mouth.

Tobin pulls back for only a second as her fingers continue to thrust into Christen walls, curling in exactly the right place that she knows will bring her girlfriend over the edge. She makes eye contact with her girlfriend before leaning in and finishing what she’d started.

“Tobin—Tobin, fuck!” Christen comes with Tobin’s mouth on her clit and fingers curled deep inside her—unable to stop herself now from reaching out for the older woman and tugging her up her body. 

Tobin’s hand stays put, fingers still thrusting slowly in and out as Christen comes down from her high. 

“Mm gonna marry you.” Tobin whispers against Christen’s ear. “Wanna do this forever.” Her fingers finally slow to a stop and she pulls them out, bringing them up to her mouth to clean them off—an action that never fails to make Christen’s eyes go dark, but this time—this time Christen’s eyes are wide and she looks like she’s about to cry and Tobin isn’t quite sure why until it hits her what she just admitted. 

“Did you mean that baby?” Christen asks breathlessly, eyes glistening as she cups Tobin’s cheek, begging the other woman silently to look at her. 

“I—yes…” Tobin admits quietly, trying to gage the emotions behind her favourite green eyes. “I know it’s too soon to say that, I just—”

“Tobin...sweetheart it’s not too soon if that’s how you feel—I…I want to marry you too, Tobin.” 

“You do?” Tobin sounds so surprised that Christen lets out a quiet laugh, brushing her thumb over Tobin’s blushing cheek, and Christen wonders how she can go from—everything that just happened, to this, adorable blushing woman next to her. 

**And all I ain't got is my breath (breath)**

**You stole it the first time we met**

**You're more than I deserve**

**People say I'm lucky, but lucky ain't the word**

**Oh, I'm blessed**

“Toby?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Did you mean what you said earlier about seeing God in me?” Christen asked in a quiet voice, “Sometimes I still can’t believe that you actually pray about me…” Christen smiles shyly, laying her head on Tobin’s bare chest and swinging one of her legs over Tobin’s hips. 

“Yes...I constantly am… I see my faith in you baby. Y ou are everything to me Christen Press. You are my heaven on earth. My once in a lifetime. You are the love of my life and I cannot wait to marry you. I can’t even believe that I’m lucky enough to be the one who gets to think this way—who gets to dream about marrying you and then actually do it one day. I’ve known since before we were together that you were meant to be in my life—I’ve always been able to feel it, I just never thought I’d be lucky enough to actually have you like this.” 

“Tobin—.” Christen eyes are soft and she sounds breathless as she speaks Tobin’s name. 

“Chris, I know I’m not always good at words. I know that sometimes it’s hard to know what I’m thinking because I’m not the best at expressing it verbally. But I want to try—I need you to know what you mean to me, I need you to hear all the things I’m constantly thinking. I need you to understand that when I think of God now the first thing I see is you. You are my purpose, you make all of the sacrifices that our careers require worth it. You make waking up everyday and having to leave our little bubble worth it because I always know that you are the light at the end of every hard day whether we are together or not. I never thought I’d find someone who is more important to me than this game we’re lucky enough to play every day. But you are that for me, you occupy my every thought, and even though we don’t follow the same beliefs about religion, you embody everything it means to me to be faithful. You take my breath away and you’ve never given it back since that very first day. I am so irreversibly in love with you Christen Annemarie Press and I am going to marry you. You’re so much more than I deserve but I will devote every single day for the rest of our lives together to making sure you know just what you mean to me.” 

Christen let out a quiet sob—breaking Tobin out of her thoughts and finally alerting her to the fact that Christen had been crying. 

“You have to stop.” Christen chuckled softly. “I don’t think I’ll make it if you say anything else.” Her voice cracked and she hugged Tobin as tightly as she could in their current position. “Tobin I fucking love you. I know that isn’t quite as eloquent as everything you said but seriously you just—god you are fucking perfect for me and I never want to hear you say you don’t deserve me again. Tobin Heath you are so much more than I ever thought I would find in someone. You surprise me every single day with how kind and gentle and loving you are. You make me want to be the best version of myself and there is no one else in this world who could give me this feeling. I don’t care if it hasn’t even been half a year. You are the love of my life and I can’t imagine doing life without you anymore. Fuck—you’re stuck with me, I hope you know that, you can’t get rid of me now.”

“I’d have to be an idiot to let you go—I may not have a degree from Stanford but I went to enough classes to be smart enough to know that there is nothing and no one better than you. I’m never letting you go Chris. I’m so  _ blessed _ to have you in my life.”

  
  



	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> speechless-dan and shay

**You say you'll be down in five**

**The smell of your perfume is floating down the stairs**

**You're fixing up your hair like you do**

**“** Chris are you ready?” 

“Be down in a minute!” Tobin’s favourite voice chimed down the stairs and she shook her head, knowing it will be more like five before her girlfriend came walking down the stairs. 

“Is that a promise?” Tobin teased, smiling to herself and knowing that Christen is upstairs rolling her eyes.

She didn’t mind. They weren’t running late by any means, she was just excited—happy to be home with her family—happy to be a part of her sister’s wedding—extraordinarily happy to be doing and experiencing those things with Christen on her arm as her date. So even though they weren’t late—in fact they’d probably still be mildly early thanks to Christen’s planning down to the minute—somehow knowing exactly how long she’d take to get ready down to the second, Tobin’s leg was bouncing as she sat cross legged on her parent’s couch, trying to coach herself into “sitting like a lady” while she would be confined by a dress for the entirety of the weekend. 

Tobin never thought she’d be able to date someone who took so much time to get ready for things. Always hoped to find someone as laid back as herself whose idea of “getting ready” involved air-dried hair and choosing between one of two pairs of ripped jeans. She thought she’d be impatient and annoyed with a girl who spent so much time on their appearance for a night out—someone who had to start preparing hours before they were to leave because she was also the most prompt person Tobin had ever known.

And maybe she would be annoyed now—if she weren’t dating Christen Press. 

Because the thing about Christen was—that she was absolutely fucking perfect in every conceivable way, and Tobin had known this to be true for as long as she could remember.

There wasn’t a thing she would change about her girlfriend and Tobin would be damned if she didn’t know for a fact that she was the luckiest woman in the world to be waiting for Christen Press to get ready. 

Tobin’s impatience was most in part due to the fact that she didn’t like being apart from Christen—even if only by one level of the same house. 

Most often Christen would want Tobin sitting in the bathroom with her while she got ready—actually, she really loved having Tobin there with her.

///

_ “Are you ready yet?” Tobin asked for the fourteenth time in the past thirty minutes _ — _ yes, Christen was counting. _

_ “Tobin the next time you ask I am kicking you out of the bathroom.”  _

_ “You said that three questions ago.” Tobin challenged, wrapping her arms around Christen’s waist from behind and looking into her eyes in the large bathroom mirror in front of them. Tobin started placing open mouth kissing down the smooth skin of Christen’s neck, biting and sucking on the exact spots she knew from experience would get a reaction out of the other woman.  _

_ “Tobin _ — _ mm if you keep doing that I’m never going to be ready.”  _

_ “Maybe that was my plan all along?”  _

_ “Tobin Powell Heath! I have been waiting for this first real date with you for way too long _ — _ you are not seducing me away from going out tonight.”  _

_ “Full name? Really? You’re that opposed to me going down on you on this counter right now?” Tobin husked into Christen’s ear _ — _ watching the effect play out in the reflection of the mirror.  _

_ “Fuck _ — _ ” Christen bit her lip _ — _ tried to gain control of her body enough to respond but then Tobin’s hand started dipping lower _ —

_ Lower _ —

_ Lower _ —

_ Until they reached the hem of Christen’s dress where she began to inch the fabric up Christen’s thighs.  _

_ “Fuck Tobin _ — _ ” Christen stopped trying to hide how turned she on just by Tobin’s lips on her neck and hands running up her thighs.  _

_ Smirking into her skin _ — _ Tobin turned Christen in her arms and lifted her up so she was sitting on the cool marble countertop _ — _ dress bunched up around her waist.  _

_ “Tobin please _ — _ god just touch me already.”  _

_ “Are you sure? I thought we didn’t have time love?” Tobin teased _ — _ kissing Christen’s lips slowly but soundly. _

_ Christen groaned, pushing down on Tobin’s shoulder’s forcefully in an attempt to get her where she wanted her _ — _ crouched between her legs, looking up into her green eyes through hooded lashes with that god damn spirk playing on her lips because she knew exactly what she was doing. _

And that’s why sometimes—when they actually have a time limit on their departure, Tobin isn’t allowed to join Christen in getting ready. 

///

And because it wasn’t often they got all done up for something—maybe Christen just really wanted to milk Tobin’s reaction to seeing her dressed in something other than shorts and a training top. 

Something else that Tobin knows—beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that she would wait for the rest of her life to watch Christen walk down those stairs—to always be the person she was walking towards on nights like tonight.

She is all too familiar with the faint aroma of Christen’s favourite perfume floating down the stairs to where she’s standing waiting for her. 

Knows that it will never fail to intoxicate her mind and bring her back to the night of their first official date—the first time she wore it around Tobin. 

Christen had joked, telling her she only wears it on special occasions and that Tobin should feel lucky she busted it out for this.

What Tobin had wanted to say that night, was that she is the luckiest woman in the world—but that felt like a bit much so soon so instead she had settled for “someone’s feeling confident tonight” with a playful smirk and a wink that made Christen’s cheeks flush.

Christen had responded with a shake of her head, “something about you Heath… it brings out that side of me.” and then Tobin was the one blushing as Christen tried to wink but ended up closing both eyes—something she would end up teasing her about for years to come. 

**I know that I'll be a mess**

**The second that I see you**

**You won't be surprised**

**It happens every time**

**It's nothing new**

Tobin’s always found Christen to be beautiful beyond words—has had her breath taken away by the raven haired woman more times than she could ever recount. She’s always thought that she was just naturally the most breathtaking woman in the world, whether she was dressed down in a pair of baggy sweats and a t-shirt, or dressed up with her heels on and makeup done. 

Truthfully, Tobin was almost more in awe with the natural Christen because every single day she was blown away by how perfect she was all on her own, wild curls framing her soft caramel skin and her green-grey eyes glimmering even in the dimmest of lights. 

Yeah, this feeling wasn’t new. 

Tobin knew exactly what to expect every time Christen walked into a room. 

She had thought that the effect might lessen as time passed but if she’s being honest, it’s only gotten stronger. It had almost been a year and still every single time that Tobin sees Christen—even in a blurry selfie sent to her at three in the morning by a restless Christen—Tobin can’t stop her breath hitching in her throat.

Can’t stop the way her heartbeat picks up.

Can’t stop the warm feeling in her chest at the reminder that this incredibly beautiful woman is really her girlfriend. 

Can’t argue with the fact that she’ll likely never be able to control herself when she sees Christen because this woman—this woman that she is so blessed to know and to love and to do life with is someone beyond her wildest dreams. 

Tobin had fully accepted at this point that she would never be able to put into strong enough words just how beautiful Christen was. There weren’t enough words in the dictionary for her to even attempt to justify the beauty that she saw in Christen, the beauty that had captivated her from the moment they met, so many years ago.

She was an angel—the kind of person that drew eyes everywhere she goes. She was a light in any room if not from her physical beauty than from the positive radiance of her soul and personality—but nobody knew that beauty quite like Tobin.

Christen had grown accustomed to Tobin’s wide eyes and fumbled speech when she walked in a room. Had grown to learn and to love that Tobin exells at expressing her feelings through touch and physicality and her adoring brown eyes rather than through words. 

But even though it was no longer a surprise—Tobin’s dilated pupils and the slight part in her lips—the small intake of breath and the muttering of words that she most often couldn’t hear—Christen’s cheeks still flushed pink every time. She still felt the slightest tinge of shyness when Tobin would bite her lip and reach her hand out for Christen. A touch that would light Christen’s whole body on fire with the contrast of Tobin’s strong hand touching her so gently—a brush of her hand over Christen’s hip while the other cups her cheek softly as Tobin really takes in her appearance—the motions that sent a shiver down Christen’s spine each and every time. 

**It's always on a night like tonight**

**I think that you can read my mind**

**'Cause when you look at me with those eyes**

**I'm speechless**

They didn’t have a lot of time like this—seeing that the majority of their time spent together was quick round trips across the country when either one had a day or two off, or precious moments at camp when they could get away from their teammates for more than a minute. 

So this—getting a whole weekend to spend as a couple with Tobin’s family felt like heaven. This was the first time that most of Tobin’s family would meet Christen—something that Tobin could not be more proud of. She made it hard for Christen to be nervous at all with the constant praise and assurance—there wasn’t a doubt in Tobin’s mind that every person in her family would love Christen. 

/

_ “Baby you really don’t need to be worried. You already passed the meeting with my mom with flying colours and she has the highest standards for me of anybody in the family. I can guarantee you that everyone will fall for your perfection just like I did.”  _

_ “You’re biased _ —”

_ “Christen it is a known fact world wide that you are in fact perfect _ — _ so while I am incredibly biased on every aspect of you, this much you can trust me on.”  _

/

Tobin knows—knows that no other person on this earth could have this effect on her. She knows that the sound of Christen’s heels clicking down the spiral staircase of her childhood home is the reason her mouth is already going dry just thinking of seeing her girlfriend—the girlfriend she had seen hardly an hour earlier when Christen had asked for something out of their suitcase. 

Knows that this is the kind of feeling you only ever know for one person in your lifetime. 

Knows that by the grace of god she is alive at the same time as Christen Press and has the honour of being the one she loves. 

Tobin’s brown eyes meet green as Christen walks towards her—braving the last few steps of the stairs, a few inches taller than Tobin with the heels she’s got on and Tobin is rendered speechless once again. 

“Holy shit.” Tobin breathes out, getting a smirk from Christen who gives a playful twirl, the light fabric of her floor length skirt spinning with her in what feels like slow motion. 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Christen smiled cheekily as she approached Tobin with a gentle sway in her hips. 

“You look pretty  _ holy shit _ yourself Tobs.” Christen smirked, eyeing Tobin in her relatively short black dress.

“I’m so fucking lucky.” Tobin mumbles, taking Christen’s hand and pulling her in close, breathing in that unmistakable scent.

**Staring at you, standing there in that dress**

**What it's doing to me, ain't a secret**

**'Cause watching you is all that I can do**

**And I'm speechless**

Tobin can’t take her eyes away. She can’t stop scanning over the smooth skin exposed on Christen’s stomach with the tight cropped shirt she’s paired with her skirt. 

“I’ve got to dress up like this more often.” Christen teases, placing a chaste kiss on Tobin’s already parted lips.

“You don’t need to.” Tobin whispers, brushing some stray curls away from Christen’s face, being careful not to harm her makeup. “You do this to me every single day without even trying.” She admits, leaning in to kiss Christen again—a little harder this time, with a hand on the back of her neck and the other firmly planted on Christen’s hip. 

Tobin doesn’t care how obvious she is—doesn’t care that she’ll never be able to hide how attracted she is to Christen no matter what the occasion or no matter who was around. She was thankful they were alone for the moment being though, because kissing Christen is all that she wanted to do right now. 

Well—not  _ all _ she wanted, but she would settle for that right now. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Tobin mumbled against Christen’s lips when she broke away for just a moment to breath before capturing her girlfriend’s lips once again, running her tongue along Christen’s bottom lip just as Christen parted them on her own, welcoming Tobin’s tongue to deepen the kiss. 

**You already know that you're my weakness**

**After all this time I'm just as nervous**

**Every time you walk into the room**

**I'm speechless**

Tobin’s mind was spinning—nearly a year into this relationship and she couldn’t care less that she was so wrapped around this woman’s finger. She would drop anything and everything for the woman in her arms and even though that made her nervous sometimes—she would never want anything to change. 

And Christen knew—in almost a daunting way, how strongly Tobin felt about her. Not so frightening that she’d be scared away, but just enough to be scared of the possibility of ever losing her. 

Christen pulled away breathless with a blush on her cheeks around the time Tobin’s hand slipped around her waist and cupped her ass. 

“Baby—”She breathed out with a dark look in her eyes. “Your parents are in the kitchen…”

“I can’t help it.” Tobin whispered, leaning in to brush her lips over Christen ear as she spoke—hand still firmly in place on Christen’s butt. 

“It’s not fair that you look this good—and I can’t do anything about it all day.”

“Tobin—fuck you can’t just say that right now.” Christen groaned, tightening her grip on Tobin’s waist. 

“Sorry babe—but you know exactly what you do to me, it’s not my fault you showed up looking like this.” Tobin shook her head, hands dancing along the sliver of skin available to her. “You’re my weakness Christen Press. You always have been” Kisses her again— “And you always will be.”

**It started when you said hello**

**Just did something to me**

**And I've been in a daze**

**Ever since the day that we meet**

The day they really met —not in a line of handshakes after a Stanford UNC game, but in the team’s hotel, at Christen’s first national team camp. The first time they really got the chance to talk—Tobin will never forget that day. 

///

_ Tobin remembers that day like the back of her hand. It was Christen’s first camp and she was rooming with Kelley.  _

_ Tobin had knocked on the door to their shared hotel room, expecting to be met with Kelley, when instead she found herself staring into the greenest eyes she had ever seen. They were eyes she had seen before, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t remember them _ _ —but this felt different.  _

_ The brief encounters the two had shared in college felt insignificant now that Tobin was standing here, speechless in the hotel hallway with Christen Press eyeing her curiously. _

_ “Hi—” She had finally spoken—in an angelic voice that Tobin would never be able to get out of her mind.  _

_ “Kelley’s just in the shower—assuming you’re here for her.” Tobin was struggling to respond still in a way she had never experienced and Christen was starting to blush as she noticed Tobin’s intense gaze on herself.  _

_ “Did you um—want to come in and wait?” Christen asked nervously, ducking her head shyly at the attention she was receiving from Tobin.  _

_ “Um yeah—yeah sure thanks.” Tobin fumbled, stepping into the room and brushing past Christen as she held the door open.  _

_ The two women sat facing each other, Christen on the edge of her bed and Tobin on the edge of Kelley’s. _

_ “So uh—I’m Tobin, she finally managed to say—which got a teasing smile from the other woman.  _

_ “I know—I remember you Tobin Heath.” To which Tobin smiled shyly before responding. “I remember you too Christen Press.”  _

_ “Yeah?”  _

_ “Yeah… you’re hard to forget.”  _

_ A blush rose on Christen’s cheeks as Tobin finally found her voice—she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before looking up and meeting Tobin’s soft brown eyes again.  _

_ “I’m glad you’re here—” Tobin continued. “I’m excited to see you play again—and to be on the same team this time.”  _

_ “I’m glad to be here… and glad that you’re glad.” Christen winked—or she tried to, but both eyes closed and Tobin thinks it’s just about the cutest thing she’s ever seen.  _

_ Tobin will never forget the way she changed that day. The way her mind was taken over by thoughts of Christen Press and the way those thoughts took over every aspect of her life until she was brave enough to do something about it.  _

_ It’s something that’s hard to forget when she’s been in a daze ever since that day—constantly thinking about this incredible person that was brought into her life.  _

///

**You take the breath out of my lungs**

**Can't even fight it**

**And all of the words out of my mouth without even trying**

**And I'm speechless**

**“** God you’re just —I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend—I can’t believe I get to have you as my date forever.” 

“Forever hm?”

“Yes.” Tobin answered immediately. “I’m never letting you go Chris. You’re everything to me—you take my breath away in a way that I never knew someone could—you...I can’t even explain how lucky you make me feel. I love you so fucking much.” Tobin tries—tries to put into words what Christen means to her… she’s surprised at her ability to have said even this much with the way her mind was in overdrive right now. “I want you to be my date forever… I don’t want anyone else...I’m so proud that you are here with me for this.” 

She isn’t saying what she means but Christen hears her loud and clear. 

Knows that what Tobin is saying is that she wants to  _ marry her _ . That she wants Christen to be her date forever including to their own wedding. They haven’t really brought it up since the first time they admitted it to one another—not wanting to put any pressure on the other even if they knew they were in this for the long haul.

“Tobin…” 

“Want to marry you.” She mumbles so quietly that Christen can hardly hear—but she can see it in the way that Tobin’s eyes are fighting back tears—can see it in the overwhelmed look on her girlfriend’s face from being so vulnerable—from admitting that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Christen in a way they’ve only talked about that one time.

“Tobin—sweetheart…” Christen brought her hands up, cupping Tobin’s strong jaw on either side and looking into her glistening eyes. “I want to marry you too.” 

Tobin lets out a shaky breath at that—at hearing that the angel before her wants her forever—that the words Tobin couldn’t fight from saying again just left Christen’s mouth as well. 

That was the second time Tobin admitted she wanted to marry Christen.

**Staring at you, standing there in that dress**

**What it's doing to me, ain't a secret**

**'Cause watching you is all that I can do**

**And I'm speechless**

“I can’t even handle you dressed in a skirt for my sister’s wedding —I don’t know what I’ll do when I see you walk down the aisle to me in a wedding dress… How am I going to keep it together long enough to say my vows to you?” Tobin questions in almost a panicked tone. “Seriously I won’t be able to stop staring long enough—I’ll be speechless at my own wedding. What’d you have to go and be so perfect for hm?”

“God you are such a softy.” Christen whispered before pulling Tobin in hard and kissing her again—with so much force that she almost tips over in her heels. 

“You really want to marry me?” Christen asks in the softest voice—a complete one eighty from the searing kiss. 

“So badly—I might die if I don’t.” Tobin whispered. “And I don’t want to die alone.” 

**You already know that you're my weakness**

**After all this time I'm just as nervous**

**Every time you walk into the room**

**I'm speechless, yeah baby**

“Do you have any idea what you do to me Chris? I almost hate how attractive I think you are because I never want you to feel like that’s all I care about just because I struggle to put into words what you mean to me. But you have to know that you’re everything to me. You make everything feel right in the world and you make me feel things I never knew existed. And maybe it’s only been a year, but I’m pretty sure that I have loved you for much longer. I always knew that I wanted you but I never thought in a million years that I would get to have you like this… so yes… I am going to marry you Christen Press.” 

**'Cause watching you is all that I can do, oh**

**I'm speechless**

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Falling like the stars--James Arthur

**Three **

**I swear to God, when I come home**

**I'm gonna hold you so close**

**I swear to God, when I come home**

**I'll never let go**

“How many more days?” Tobin asks quietly, eyes focused on Christen’s face on the screen of her phone rather than looking into the camera above it. 

“Thirty-two, love.” Christen smiles weakly, not having to check her calendar to know exactly when she would be getting on her next flight back to the states for camp with the National team. She had been in Sweden for just over a week, had just begun to get into the swing of things with her club. Her and Tobin on the other hand —could not be further from  _ getting into the swing _ of being so far apart. 

They had gotten into the habit of booking last minute flights to each other in the middle of the night if they had even a forty-eight hour period to spare from their clubs. And long distance was one thing when you were on different ends of the same country. But it was another thing entirely when you were on opposite ends of the world and had a nine hour time difference that sent one of you to bed as the other was only just starting their day. 

They’d been together for two and half years and despite the fact that both of them had been through long distance relationships before—this was a lot more than either had bargained for, never expecting their distance to exceed the 2800 mile expanse of the United States. 

The first week had been excruciating—both women had cried more than they had combined over the past 2 and half years, sleep didn’t come easy—which unfortunately, was the only thing that made it easier to talk since neither one was sleeping much. 

“I hate this Chris.” Tobin sighed, running her hand over her sleep deprived eyes. “It barely been a week and I’m losing my mind, I honestly didn’t think it would be this hard, I’m used to not being in the same place as you but I hate the feeling that I can’t just get on a plane at a minutes notice and come to you. I hate that Rory traded you to fucking Houston, I hate that there are people who don’t know the first thing about you that are judging you for making a decision about your own fucking career and life. I hate that no one bats an eye when Alex requests a move to where he husband plays, or Syd—but god forbid a woman make a decision for her own self without a husband to use as leverage. I hate that Mark couldn’t pull enough strings to get you to Portland, I fucking hate this! I’m so tired of living in different places Chris I just want to be with you.” 

_ “Mark come on—there has to be something we can do here, someone we can trade—”  _

_ “Tobin I’m going to stop you right there. I get that you’re frustrated, and I get that this is something that matters a lot to you but please at least sound like you wouldn’t throw any number of your teammates out in the wind without a second thought. You know I’ve tried—I am trying, to work something out here. You know I would love it if we could get her here but you also know who she is _ — _ you know that Houston isn’t just going to hand her over without milking it for all it’s worth. They have her rights and as shit as it is there is only so much I can do to try and work something out.”  _

_ “This is bullshit! Rory is a piece of shit for sending her there, he knew that wasn’t an option for her and everything everything she’s fucking done for that team _ —” 

“ _ Heath! Look... I get it okay...I understand what you’re feeling right now, I know that it’s hard to be away from your person, I really do. And I know we haven’t discussed this but I also know you wouldn’t be here right now if that wasn’t the case. And I’ve tried kid, I truly have and you have to know that.”  _

_ Tobin let out a shaky breath, leaning forward in her chair and resting her hand in her hands. “It fucking sucks Mark.” She couldn’t stop her voice from cracking _ — _ she also couldn’t find it in herself to care how unprofessional she was being _ — _ she had nothing left to lose.  _

_ “How long have you two been together?” Mark asked quietly after giving Tobin a moment with her thoughts.  _

_ “Just over two years.”  _

_ “So that’s why you always play like crap against Chicago huh? Don’t want to sleep on the couch?”  _

_ “Fuck off _ —”  _ Tobin laughed sadly, shaking her head. “Sorry for losing my shit.”  _

_ “It’s all good Heath, just maybe don’t tell your teammates that you were willing to sell each and every one of them to get Press here.” _

_ “You say that like they don’t already know. I even told Sinc that I’d get her deported back to Canada if I had to.”  _

“Sweetheart I know it sucks—I know that you’re angry and frustrated and believe me I am feeling all of those things too. But it’s only hurting you more to focus on the bad things.” 

“What good things are there to even focus on when you’re not here with me.” Tobin says as if it’s the craziest concept—being  _ happy _ without Christen.

“That I love you… and you love me. And that we are going to get through this together and it’s going to suck so bad but I will come home to you. Even if my few months here feel like years you know I will be coming home to you in the end. I’m going to come home to you and I’m going to hold you so fucking close that you’ll get tired of me.” 

“Impossible.” Tobin whispered.

“Do you remember those first two weeks we spent apart after we finally got together?” Christen asked, peering into Tobin’s pixelated eyes. 

“Of course…”

“I thought it couldn’t possibly get harder than that. Thought that’d it’d get easier the longer we were together.” Christen reminisced. Thinking about the way her heart had ached to fall asleep next to Tobin again like that first night in the hotel room. 

_ “I don’t want to spend two weeks apart.” Tobin pouted, pulling Christen into her lap on the hotel bed they had shared the past two nights ever since they had finally crossed the line that had been drawn between them _ — _ the other bed hadn’t been touched since Tobin had climbed into Christen’s that night.  _

_ “Me either Tobs _ — _ but it will pass in the blink of an eye and then I’ll be with you in Portland for a whole week before you fly home for the holidays.”  _

_“About that…” Tobin bit her lip, unsure if she should really ask Christen what she was thinking. “I was wondering_—_I mean, I know this is probably crazy and we just kissed and we’re not even officially together yet but_ _I_—_I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna come home for Christmas with me? I know you probably already have plans with your family, so it’s totally cool if you can’t or if it’s too soon for that but_—”

_ Christen cut Tobin off before the poor girl had a heart attack, kissing her soundly and swallowing the rest of her worries.  _

_ “Tobin, it’s not crazy—or, maybe it is I don’t know, but I don’t care. I told my family I’d be home for Christmas, but maybe we could work something out? I’d love to come visit your family with you for a few days even if it’s not on Christmas day specifically. Would that be okay?”  _

_ “More than okay.” Tobin smiled her signature toothy smile, pulling Christen impossibly closer. “I just want to spend as much time as possible with you during the off season before things get crazy with Olympic prep and the new season starting.” _

_ “Tobin Heath wants to spend time with me hmm?” Christen asked cheekily, turning in Tobin’s lap and straddling her waist just as she had night two nights ago. _

_ “I believe I said  _ as much time as possible _ , but yes. Tobin Heath  _ really _ wants to spend time with you.”  _

_ “And what are we going to do with all of this time hmm?” Christen asked, biting her lip and raising her eyebrows _ —silently  _ daring Tobin to play along.  _

_ “I can think of a few things.” Tobin’s eyes darkened as she pulled on Christen’s hips, rocking her closer and capturing her waiting lips. Christen sighed into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck and lightly rolling her hips into the other woman and forcing a moan to fall from Tobin’s lips as she gripped Christen’s hips harder, aiding the younger woman in her motions.  _

_ It’s not much longer before Tobin is pulling away breathless, groaning as she fights every instinct instead of her that wants to keep going. _

_ “Chris _ —”  _ She whispers as the younger woman takes this opportunity to begin kissing down Tobin’s sharp jaw. “Chris we should slow down—as badly as I want this I really don’t want it to happen here—”  _

_ Christens whines, biting down on a particularly sensitive area where Tobin’s jaw meets her neck. “What’s wrong with here?” Christen counters. “Here has you and me and that’s pretty much all I need.”  _

_ “Because call me crazy, but when I make love to you for the first time I’d rather it not be in a random hotel room.”  _

_ Christen almost chuckled at the term _ — _ but then a blush rose to her cheeks as she really felt the weight of Tobin’s words _ — _ felt how serious she was even if her tone had been slightly joking. She could feel what Tobin meant _ — _ could feel how important this was to her, that it would be so much more than just sex between them _ — _ that she wanted it to be special because  _ she _ was special to Tobin, and truthfully that knowledge only made Christen want her more.  _

_ “Where would you rather I be?” Christen asked, her voice heavy as she leaned up on her knees looking down into Tobin’s darkened eyes.  _

_ “Preferably on your back in my bed. Besides _ — _ with our schedules I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for sex in uncomfortable hotel beds.” Tobin answered smoothly _ — _ thinking she had won the upper hand until Christen brought a hand up to grip Tobin’s jaw, tilting it up to look into her eyes.  _

_ “What makes you think I’ll be the one on my back Tobin?”  _

_ The two weeks had in fact flown by, they texted and called whenever they could and before they knew it they were back together _ — _ Christen making good of her promise of getting Tobin on her back first.  _

That was nothing compared to this. Christen felt stupid for ever having thought that was difficult when she had yet to truly know what missing Tobin felt like. Because now—now she knew Tobin. Knew the way the older woman liked to cling onto her whenever they were alone. She knew the way Tobin’s voice sounded first thing in the morning, and the way she was very particular about the style of boxer briefs she wore to bed. Knew how it felt to be able to kiss Tobin whenever she wanted when they got to spend a few days alone and knew how to work her up in the blink of an eye. Christen had learned how Tobin’s heart worked—had learned how the other woman expresses herself better through actions and physical touch rather than words—learned how to mend Tobin’s heart when she was down, and knew exactly how to bribe her into running a few blocks down the street to grab some donuts when Christen was craving them. 

Christen knew Tobin like the back of her hand and because of that there were so many intricate little details for her to long for, especially with over four thousand miles between them. 

**Like a river, I flow**

**To the ocean, I know**

**You pull me close, guiding me home**

**“** I didn’t know you were religious Pressi.” Olivia teased in her thick Swedish accent, poking at the cross necklace adorning Christen’s neck as she stripped into her bathing suit. 

Christen rolled her eyes, swatting Olivia with the sleeve of her jacket. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Throwing her hands up in surrender. “It’s cute, I like seeing you happy.” 

“I’d be a lot happier if I had more than her necklace here with me. Maybe I’d believe in God if he could pull her across the ocean to me right now without it taking a 15 hour flight.” Christen smiled sadly, bringing her hand up and feeling the small cross between her fingers. The cross that Tobin had tried to trick Christen into bringing.

_ Christen was fast asleep on the couch, when she jolted up, feeling a hand brush over her neck. _

_ “Tobin? What are you doing?”  _

_ “I was trying to be sneaky.”  _

_ “Is that your necklace? Babe why would you _ —”

_ “I was gonna put it on you and hope that you didn’t notice until you were already gone.” Tobin looked down at her girlfriend with big brown eyes, proud of her attempt.  _

_ “Tobin—sweetheart you know it would have beeped going through airport security if I didn’t know it was there.”  _

_ “Oh yeah… I guess I didn’t think that far ahead….”  _

_ “Tobin I can’t take this, it’s too special to you.”  _

_ “You’re more special.”  _

_ “Tobin—” _

_ “Please? I want you to take it, I want you to bring something more important than a few shirts of mine.” _

_ “Did you just agree to me stealing some of your shirts?”  _

_ “Babe I don’t have shirts anymore—I only have a closet that holds things for you to wear. But I mean if you’d like me to cancel my attempt at a romantic gesture and just take a few wrinkly t-shirts be my guest.” Tobin sighed dramatically, flopping over on the couch next to Christen who chuckled at the dramatics before rolling over and swinging a leg over Tobin’s hips.  _

_ “Baby...you really want me to take your necklace?” Christen asked in a small voice, peering into Tobin’s honey brown eyes.” _

_ “Of course I do. It will feel like you’re with me when I’m praying at night, and make me feel like there is a piece of me there to bring you home.” Tobin’s arms wrapped around Christen’s waist as the younger woman sucked in a shaky breath. “Tobin—what the hell I told you to stop making me cry, I’m going to have enough tears when I’m actually gone…”  _

_ “I’m sorry! I can’t help how badly I’m going to miss you.”  _

**And I need you to know that we're fallin' so fast**

**We're fallin' like the stars, fallin' in love**

**And I'm not scared to say those words with you, I'm safe**

**We're fallin' like the stars, we're fallin' in love**

**I swear to God, I can see**

**Four kids and no sleep**

**We'll have one on each knee, you and me, hmm**

“You should really get to bed baby, it’s so late.” Christen sighed, watching as her girlfriend struggled to keep her eyes open as it was nearly three in the morning in Portland.” 

“I’m fine —consider it practice for when we have kids and we never get to sleep through the night.”

Christen’s eyes went wide as she took in Tobin’s words. They had discussed kids before back in the beginning of their relationship when they wanted to make sure they were on the same page in terms of future plans, but after that it was more of an unspoken agreement—both women content with knowing that was something that could come to fruition if and when they were ready. 

“Kids hm?” Christen asked quietly, internally freaking out (in a good way of course) about how casually Tobin had brought up the idea. 

“Well I mean—yeah, if that’s something you still want...with me.” 

“Tobin of course I want that with you. There is no one else I want that with, you’re it for me, you know that.” 

Tobin just smiled her big toothy grin and continued on. “How many do you want? Because hear me out; two girls, two boys—one of each that looks like you and one of each that looks like me! Or all four can look like you because let’s be honest they’d be set for life with your genes.” 

Christen let out a throaty laugh at the way her girlfriend was suddenly wide awake. “Tobin, sweetheart you know we don’t exactly get to pick if we have a boy or a girl right?”

“Well I mean—yeah I know but I can pretend that we have a choice because how fricken cute would that be. Anyway, I’d like four.” 

“Four is—a number…” Christen teased. “That sounds like a lot of work to me.” Christen teased. “Why don’t we start with two and see where that takes us.” 

“Fine, but if I may argue my case again, let me paint you another picture—two girls, two boys, one on each of our knee’s for santa photos! It would be the perfect picture! Plus that would mean there are six of us and we can play 3 v 3 which is like the minimum you need for a pick up game since 2 v2 is no fun.”

“You want four kids so that we can have “the perfect santa photo?”

“And for pick up games!! Keep up Chris.” 

“Tobin—”

“Yes?” 

“Are you planning on having any of these children or are you expecting me to pop out four babies?” 

“Details details.” Tobin swats her hand at the camera, causing Christen to roll her eyes. 

“Tobin?”

“Yes?”

“You realize you have to put a ring on this finger before you even get to think about me pushing four watermelons out of my vagina.” 

Tobin immediately blushed at the visualization of proposing to Christen _ — _ something that happened each and every time the topic came up.

“Oh is that right? Any other requirements?”

“Nope.” Christen popped the T with a teasing smile. “Just the ring.” Christen sighed dramatically waving her hand slowly in front of her phone’s camera.”

“Good to know, I’ll keep that in mind.” Tobin winked, pretending to take notes on a piece of paper that didn’t exist. 

**And when they've grown up**

**You're still the girl in the club**

**When I held your hair up, 'cause you had too much**

“Tobbyyyyy I need you here, I miss you and I don’t want you far away anymore please come here.” 

“I miss you too Chris… Sounds like you had some fun tonight love? Are you home safe and sound?”

“No!” Christen answers abruptly. “I am not home  _ safe and sound _ because that would of course imply that I am in your arms and as far as I can tell that is not where I am. I am however safe and in my apartment which is in Sweden and not at home. AND furthermore I did not have fun tonight because the whole time I just wanted you there especially when the stupid boy was hitting on me in Swedish and I didn’t know because my swedish is subpar at best when I’m sober and extreemely below average when I am drunk and I thought he was talking to me about grocery store’s when he was actually asking me to go home with him as I was later informed by Olivia —thank god for her but don’t worry once she told me what was happening I not so politely laughed in his face because I was very drunk and very in love with you .”

“Oh Chris…” Tobin half laughed and half sighed at her drunken girlfriend and her ever perfect diction even when inebriated. 

“Are you mad at me Toby? I swear I didn’t know he was flirting and he wasn’t even cute —not that that matters because you’re the cutest ever.”

“Sweetheart of course I’m not mad, I’m just glad you’re safe at your apartment.”

“I know you don’t like when I drink this much when you’re not with me—I’m sorry Toby I just miss you so much and it made me feel better for a second but now it’s worse because I miss you  _ and _ I’m going to be terribly hungover tomorrow. 

It was true—Tobin hated when Christen was drunk and she wasn’t around. But not in a controlling way—the older woman simply hated feeling like she couldn’t protect Christen when she was under the influence, it drove her mad knowing there could be people taking advantage of her like the stupid man who obvously knew Christen couldn’t understand him and still tried to get in her pants anyway. 

“Babygirl I promise I’m not mad okay? You did nothing wrong, I just love you and wish I was there to take care of you.” 

“Mm ‘love when you call me babygirl… how would you take care of me Toby?” Christen asked in an overly suggestive tone, flipping the conversation on its head—causing Tobin to suppress a throaty laugh because this was  _ very _ Christen. Very  _ drunk _ Christen anyway. 

“Hmmm I’d probably start by making you drink a  _ biiiig _ glass of water and then help you change into something more comfortable before tucking you in and turning on the movie you’d request before falling asleep 5 minutes later.” 

“Tobiiiiiiiiin that’s not what I mean and you  _ know _ it. I’m trying to—hiccup“—be  _ sexy.”  _ Christen whispered the last word as if it were a secret. “Here here I’ll start—what are you wearing Toby? I’m already—already  _ naked. _ ”

Tobin was about to respond when she heard a quick shuffling around on the other end of the call seconds before the awful sound of what seemed to be Christen throwing up.

“Chris? Christen are you alright? Did you get sick baby?” 

Christen just groaned and Tobin’s heart ached—wishing now more than ever she was there to take care of her girlfriend.

“Toby? ‘Member before I was your girlfriend and you took care of me during the victory tour? When you held my hair and rubbed my back after I got sick? You’ve always taken care of me...even before you were my girlfriend.”

_ “Chris if you keep spinning like that you’re gonna get sick!” Tobin laughed as the younger girl spun in circles as she skipped down the hallway of the teams hotel. _

_ “I don’t get sick!!!” Christen had spoken seriously, turning her nose up at the very idea. At least until 10 minutes later when she was hunched over the toilet throwing up for the third time in 15 minutes as Tobin crouched next to her, holding her hair back and gently rubbing circles on her back underneath the flowy fabric of her tank top.  _

_ “Thank you for taking care of me.” Christen had whispered—freshly showered and curled up into Tobin’s side in her bed.  _

_ “I’ll always take care of you Chris.”  _

_ “Promise?” Christen asked quietly, leaning up to pear into Tobin’s soft brown eyes.  _

_ “I promise.” Tobin places a gentle kiss on Christen's temple that caused the younger woman to blush—knowing the true weight of the words Tobin said to her. And knowing that if she weren’t drunk right now that kiss would have likely landed somewhere else.  _

“I do remember. I wanted to kiss you so bad that night.”

“I’m glad it only took a few more days.”

“I’m glad  _ you _ were brave enough to do it.” 

**And I need you to know that we're fallin' so fast**

**We're fallin' like the stars, fallin' in love**

**And I'm not scared to say those words with you, I'm safe**

**We're fallin' like the stars, we're fallin' in love**

**I swear to God, every day**

**He won't take you away**

“30 days baby… I miss you so bad.” 

“Just 23 days Tobs… we can do this, I’ll be home so soon.” 

“21 days Chris—yesterday felt like a year in itself.”

“19 days baby, I’m getting so excited, under three weeks love!”

“Hey Chris… I know you’re asleep but I was missing you a lot and thought I’d leave you a message for when you wake up. I love you Christen. There’s seventeen days until I get to see you again and I can’t stop thinking about falling asleep next to you. I don’t care who our roommates are, we’re making them switch. I’m not spending a second away from your side that I don’t have to. I know that you already know this —but you’re it for me Christen. I never thought I’d find someone who I loved this much and who I needed to badly to be close to. Just thinking about having you in my arms again is making my heart beat so fast and I know that’s never going to change. I can’t wait for the day we never have to feel like this again. This game brought me to you but it’s also taken you away from me more than I ever wanted… I can’t wait to marry you… to have you in my arms forever and never go another morning waking up without you. I know I joked the other day when you brought it up but I’m so serious about marrying you Christen _ — _ you’re it for me. I love you Christen...seventeen days babygirl...”

**'Cause without you, babe, I lose my way**

**Oh, I'm in love**

Tobin didn’t make it seventeen days. She made it two more before she booked a last minute red-eye flight to Sweden after realizing she had four days off with the thorns. It would take her fifteen hours to get there, and fifteen hours to get home, leaving her with just over two days to spend with Christen. It was so worth it —especially knowing Christen had no idea. 

To say Tobin was proud was an understatement—from making up a team camping trip that would take Tobin out of cell service for 24 hours, to discussing details with Olivia to get herself to Christen’s apartment. 

The whole flight all she could think about was how different this felt from the times she flew to Paris and back during her relationship with Shirley. Tobin remembers feeling exhausted and like the flight would never end. She remembers being grumpy for the few days she spent with Shirley, knowing that she’d simply have to fly back again in a few days time and be exhausted all over again for someone who never made the same trip for her. 

Now though—Tobin’s leg bounced lightly for fifteen straight hours that passed in the blink of an eye because she was on her way to  _ Christen _ . And this was so so different from anything Tobin had ever felt before. 

Tobin’s eyes immediately started welling up with tears as she approached the door of Christen’s apartment, pulling out her phone to call Christen, hoping she might still be awake since it was just nearing midnight.

Only one ring went through before Christen picked up, “Baby? What are you doing at home already? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until the morning here.” Christen’s voice sounds hoarse and Tobin can almost immediately tell she’s been crying recently. 

“Yeah I uh—I sort of got a little lost on the way there. Do you know anyone who knows their way around Gothenburg?”

“Tobin… what do you—what’s going on?”

“I could really use a hug right now if you wouldn’t mind opening the door.” Tobin whispers, tears beginning to spill from her own eyes as she heard Christen scramble to get out of bed and run to the door—flinging it open and dropping her phone before throwing herself into Tobin’s arms.”

“Are you really here right now?” Christen sobbed into Tobin’s shoulder, legs wrapped tightly around the shorter woman’s waist.

“I’m here Chris—I’m really here I had to see you.” 

“How...how long do we have? When do you have to leave?” Christen’s voice was mumbled as she refused to move her face out of its place tucked into Tobin’s neck. 

“I’m here tomorrow and Friday and then I fly back Saturday…”

“Tobin! You flew fifteen hours for 48 hours here?” Christen finally lifted her head and looked into Tobin’s tear filled eyes with her own. “God I love you—I can’t believe you did this—Can’t believe you’re here.” Christen brought her lips to Tobin’s in a hard kiss, pouring three weeks of emotions into it and only breaking away briefly to hop out of Tobin’s embrace and pull her inside.

It was hours later when Christen was curled into Tobin’s bare side as close as she could possibly get that she heard Tobin mumble something unrecognizable. 

“What was that baby?” Christen turned her head up to look in Tobin’s eyes as she spoke a little bit louder. 

“Jag kommer att gifta mig med dig Christen Press.” She spoke a tiny bit robotically as she focused on pronouncing each word carefully in an attempt to have her girlfriend understand.

Christen’s heart melted for what felt like the fiftieth time that night as she pieced together the poorly google translated sentence that Tobin had bothered to memorize on her flight. 

“Tobin… god I can't wait to marry you. I’d lose my mind without you Tobin Heath.”s

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> golden hour-kacey musgraves

**One**

Tobin has a secret.

There is only one person who knows, because Tobin had phoned her in a state of panic after it happened. 

_ Lauren. _

Lauren knows.

_ November, 2015 _

_ “Hey T what’s up?” _

_ “Chen I am freaking out. I did something crazy and I can’t believe I actually just did this and I’m not quite sure what to do now and _ —”

_ “Tobin! Buddy hey, take a breath alright? Just tell me what happened…”  _

**There **

**All that I know**

**Is you caught me at the right time**

**Keep me in your glow**

_ July 2019 _

It was the tenth minute, when the sun broke through the clouds in Lyon, France as Christen headed a perfect cross from Kelley into the back of the net to take the lead in the semi-final game against England. 

Her hands were in the air before the ball had even touched the ground and her teammates swarmed around her. 

But all Christen could see is the love of her life—dropped to her knees in the center of the pitch, face in her hands and clearly overcome with emotion. 

The setting sun blazes through the open roof of the stadium shining directly on Christen as Tobin rises to her feet and makes a beeline to her girlfriend across the field. 

Straight to Christen, with her arms open in a slow jog and one of the biggest smiles Christen had ever seen. 

Tobin crashed into her—forcing Christen to take a few steps back as Tobin buried her face into the taller woman’s neck placing a quick kiss behind her ear.

“You did it Chris—you fucking did it. She’s so proud of you.” 

Christen just smiled—unable to form the words she was feeling at that moment with Tobin’s arms around her and her mom shining down from above her. 

Tobin finally pulled away, pushing Christen’s head towards the sky—knowing exactly what this moment meant—feeling the presence of her mom in one of the biggest moments of her career. 

**'Cause I'm having such a good time**

**With you**

**Baby, don't you know?**

**That you're my golden hour**

Christen was putting the finishing touches on her makeup when she felt her hair being pulled over her shoulder and the warm touch of Tobin’s fingers on her neck contrasting the cool feeling of the thin chained necklace her girlfriend placed on her. Christen looked down to find the small horizontal cross that doned Tobin’s neck each and every day. 

“So that she can celebrate with you tonight.” Tobin reasoned, kissing the back of Christen’s neck before letting her perfectly curled hair fall back across her skin. 

“You look gorgeous.” Tobin whispered, spinning her girlfriend around to get a full look at her outfit for the night’s celebration letting out a small laugh as she compared their outfits. 

“You look comfortable.” Christen teased, pinching at the fabric of Tobin’s too small white t-shirt and fitted black sweats. 

“Comfortable is exactly what I was going for so good to know that message came across.” 

“Hmm, it’s a good thing I’m not drinking tonight or I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.” 

“Are you saying that sober Christen can resist this?” 

“In public? Yes, when we get back to our room? I’m not so sure.” Christen whispered, giving Tobin one of her famous two eyed winks before turning back to the mirror to finish getting ready and wishing in this moment that she had gone through with the plan she made before the tournament.

**The color of my sky**

**You've set my world on fire**

She was going to do it in France—had the ring packed and ready to go before realizing she didn’t trust herself to travel internationally with something so important. So she took the velvet box out of her suitcase—tucking it safely back in the sock drawer of her Portland apartment. She knew that she wanted to do it soon—she also knew Christen was beginning to get frustrated with how long it was taking—understandably so, it hadn’t be quite ten years like Ashlyn and Ali, but they weren’t getting any younger and like Christen always said, they knew they were it for each other so why wait any longer than they need? 

_ When we get home. She thought, I’ll do it when we get home.  _

Tobin wasn’t much of a planner—she realized this at three in the morning, the day of their official photoshoot for re-inc’s RWB capsule.

_ This is all wrong. _ She thought to herself as she thought about the ring tucked into her suitcase on the floor next to their New York hotel bed. 

Tobin couldn’t quite place her finger on what the problem was. She had spent weeks organizing the proposal with the entire re—inc team only to wake up at three in the morning the day of and text everyone that it wasn’t happening today. 

Tobin looked down at Christen curled into her side, lips slightly parted and wild curls splayed out across her pillow and Tobin’s chest.  _ Why doesn’t this feel right?  _ She asked herself. Tobin knew she wanted to marry Christen—had known this for longer than she cared to admit to anyone. So why didn’t it feel right? Tobin couldn’t figure it out that day—especially watching Christen model the clothes she had designed. She cursed at herself for not going through with her plan to ask this incredible woman to marry her.

Tobin knew that when they started re- —inc that she wanted to design their first clothing line. She had been carrying around this vision in her mind for what felt like forever and now she finally had the platform to make it come to life. She was nervous though—nervous that it wouldn’t turn out how she imagined. She had known one thing for sure though—Christen needed to be the main model. Something about thinking of the love of her life modelling clothes that she had designed from scratch made Tobin’s heart skip a beat.

But the thing was—Tobin was not prepared for how incredible Christen looked in the line. She was no stranger to Christen’s very obvious good looks. She knew exactly how gorgeous her girlfriend was—but watching her change and check herself out in the full length mirrors as she got her first real look at the clothes was a feeling Tobin never could have been prepared for. 

**And I know, I know everything's gonna be alright**

**I used to get sad**

**And lonely when the sun went down**

**But it's different now**

**'Cause I love the light that I've found**

**In you**

Months later, it was christmas eve and the two women were out for a walk with Morena and Kalheesi before dinner with Christen’s family and it was finally,  _ finally _ time. After countless forgotten plans Tobin finally realized why nothing had been feeling right. She realized that this whole time she was simply trying too hard—when in reality, the only two things she needs were the ring and Christen herself. 

They had stopped for a minute to take in the beginnings of the night’s sunset, sitting side by side, hands intertwined between them on top of the cooled evening sand of the all too familiar Palos Verdes beach. 

Christen’s free hand came up to run along the mala beads hanging from her neck—she was wearing her mothers tonight, wanting to feel closer to her during her first holiday season with her gone. 

“I feel her more than usual tonight.” Christen whispered, to no one in particular. Tobin hummed in response, squeezing Christen’s hand gently and encouraging her girlfriend to keep talking. 

“I can’t believe it’s almost been a year.” She whispered quietly. “It feels like it was just yesterday but it also feels like this has been the longest year of my life… It doesn’t really feel like Christmas without her around. Like I’m so happy to have my family and to be here with them— _ you _ being here means more to me than I could ever explain. I know how important Christmas with your family is to you and the fact that you chose to be here with me this year Tobin I—I know why you did and I know you don’t want me to thank you but it truly means the world to me. I can’t express how it made me feel seeing you show up here yesterday, I had no idea.”

“You’re right about Christmas with my family—it is really important to me… But  _ you _ Chris, you are my family now. And my mom and everyone else they knew how much it meant to me that I was here with you this year. Hell my mom probably would have smacked some sense into me if I had tried to stay home. Being here with you and your family was the only option this year Christen.” 

“I love you, Tobin Heath.” 

“I love you more, Christen Press.” 

“Impossible.” 

“Normally I’d give in—Christmas spirit and all, but tonight… I most definitely love you more.” 

“What makes you so sure?” Christen chuckled, biting her bottom lip between her teeth and looking lovingly into Tobin’s soft brown eyes. 

“Well you see…” Tobin started, a playful smiling curling on her lips. “I had this plan a couple months back—well, more than a couple but that’s besides the point… it was a whole thing...a big fancy blow everyone out of the water kind of fancy—fancier than that weird Chicago restaurant.” Christen’s eyes brightened as the memory of that night replayed in her head. “God I loved that place.” She shook her head as Tobin just smiled along. 

“It was gonna be so big, and  _ public _ and a humongous grand gesture.”Tobin shook her head as she laughed at her own idea. “But then I stopped and asked myself what the fuck I was thinking… and I said to myself—this is exactly the opposite of  _ Christen Press.  _ She doesn’t need grand gestures. She loves hiking and nature, beaches and sunsets, her dogs and her family.”

“And  _ Tobin.”  _ Christen cut in teasingly, scrunching her nose up in one of Tobin’s favourite smiles. 

“And Tobin.” The older woman agreed, standing up and wiping the sand off her legs before reaching her hand out to help Christen up as well. They each collected one of the dog’s leashes and Christen allowed Tobin to lead her down closer to the water. “So I waited and I kept thinking until finally I realised that it didn’t really matter where we were. Because in fifty years I’m going to be thinking about the way I felt when we were here, not about the specific beach we were on or what the sunset looked like that night. I’m going to be thinking about  _ you _ . About the way you started chewing on your lip right here in this moment when you realized what was about to happen.” Tobin took in a shaky breath—trying her hardest to finish what she had started before she broke down. “I’ll be thinking about the way your eyes were shining with the reflection of the ocean next to us—I’ll be thinking about the way that I found a life in you that I never knew existed… I’ll be thinking about the way that my hands couldn’t stop shaking as I looked into your eyes and got down on one knee.”

Christen was trying—she was  _ really  _ fucking trying to keep it together but the second Tobin dropped to her knee she let out a choked sob, bringing her hands up to her mouth as Tobin pulled a small, black velvet box out of the pocket of her jeans. 

“I will be thinking about the way that I forgot half of the things I wanted to say to you when I  _ finally _ did this…” Tobin opened the box, revealing the most incredible three piece diamond ring that Christen had ever seen. The center diamond was almost unbelievably large and was surrounded by two small diamonds on either side, all wrapped in a glistening golden band. 

“Christen Annemarie Press—I would say I’ve been waiting to ask you this for nearly five years but I think we both know it’s been longer than that… I love you more than I ever knew I was capable of—more than I ever thought I could love another person… Christen, will you marry me?” Tobin’s voice breaks as she finally gets out the four words that matter most here. 

Christen was full on crying but that wasn’t going to stop her from pulling Tobin up and hugging her harder than she ever had before. 

“Fucking finally.” She whispered through her sobs as she pulled back enough to look into Tobin’s tear filled eyes. “Yes. Yes yes yes of course I will marry you Tobin—I love you so fucking much.” She kissed her—without a care in the world as to who could be around. 

Tobin only pulled back to remind Christen that she had yet to put on the ring which of course was a perfect fit—because while Tobin wasn’t always the most attentive to detail, she paid attention when it mattered or when it had anything at all to do with Christen. 

Tobin couldn’t help but laugh at her fiancée’s reaction. “Finally hm?” 

“Yes  _ finally! _ Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask? It’s gorgeous!” Christen gasped as she really inspected the ring for the first time before her eyes welled up with tears all over again. 

“Bet I’ve had the ring longer than you’ve been waiting.” Tobin mumbled before cursing to herself.  _ She wasn’t going to tell her this. _

“Tobin? How long have you had it?” 

“Um… a  _ while?”  _

“Tobin… ?”

“Do you remember our first date? When we were walking back to the hotel from dinner and we passed that jewelry store? A ring caught your eye and you pointed it out to me, saying that what you wanted your future engagement ring to look like…” 

Christen’s mind raced as she was brought back to that night, before looking down at the ring on her finger. 

“Tobin but—that was, how could you have—” 

“I went back the next morning and bought the exact ring.” Tobin stated matter of factly. “And then I ran back to the hotel and called Lauren and freaked the fuck out because I had just boughten you an engagement ring after our first date.” 

New tears were forming in Christen’s eyes as her brain caught up to what Tobin was saying. “No… no there’s no way… you—you bought that ring before—before we were even dating officially? But the band… it—”

“Looks like your moms…” Tobin finished with a shy smile. I asked your dad if it would be okay that I did that and he was all for it so I borrowed her ring and took this one in to have the band redesigned.” 

_ “Cody there was actually something I wanted to ask you while I’m here…”  _

_ “What’s up kid?”  _

_ “Well uh—you know that I’ve been planning on asking Christen to marry me for a while now.” _

_ Christen’s dad nodded along as Tobin danced around the subject, clearly nervous about the topic.  _

_ “I um _ — _ I was wondering if _ — _ if you’d be alright with me designing the band for Christen’s ring after Stacy’s… I know how much Chris loved her ring and I thought that she might like that if that’s something you’d be okay with…”  _

_ “Tobin _ —first of all,  _ if you are ever going to marry my daughter you’re going to need to learn to stop being so nervous when you talk to me. Second of all _ — _ I would be absolutely honoured if you did that for Mo and you and I both know she’ll love that.” _

  
  


“Tobin—I don’t know what to say… you’ve really had this for five years?” 

Tobin nodded, smiling shyly. “I was so freaked out, it took like a good half hour before I calmed down enough for Lauren to actually comprehend what I was saying. She’s the only person that knows when I bought it. Everyone else who knows about it just thinks I got it when I had the band redesigned. I was so terrified for like the first year that you’d find out and I’d have to explain to you when I bought it and that it’d scare you away...” 

Tobin—god you take my breath away.” Christen shook her head, wiping at the tears falling from Tobin’s big brown eyes with the pads of her thumbs. “I want to say I can’t believe you did this but I can believe it because this is exactly the kind of thing you do for me every single day. I can’t believe I get to marry you and I can’t believe you’ve had this ring for five fucking years and made me wait this long. And just for the record—I would have said yes five years ago just like I did tonight. I knew from that first moment too, maybe even before then. I am and always have been hopelessly in love with you Tobin Heath...” They shared another kiss—slow and sweet and full of a million different emotions. After a few moments Christen could help but pull away to steal another glance at her ring. 

“Tobin this is seriously so beautiful—you did so good honey.” Christen cheesed holding her hand out and admiring it from different angles. “I’m a fiancéeeeee.” Christen sang and Tobin pulled her back in.

“ _ My  _ fiancée.” Tobin corrected, with a cheeky smile. “You’re officially stuck with me forever Chris…” 

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

**You make the world look beautiful, oooh**

**I thought I'd seen it all before**

**But looking through your eyes**

**It looks like paradise**

Hours later —after surprising Christen’s family with their news and an emotional Christmas dinner the newly engaged couple found themselves back home at their house on Manhattan Beach after a failed attempt at offering to stay and clean up to which Christen’s family had immediately shut down and rushed the two off to enjoy their first night as an engaged couple. 

“Tobin —” Christen whispered breathlessly. “We should go inside.”

Tobin just hummed in response, slipping her hands beneath the waistband of a pair of old soccer shorts that belonged to her—with the red number 17 on the side being something that always lit a fire in Tobin when she saw it on the younger woman. Her hands slid down to cup Christen’s ass, assisting the role of Christen hips from her position straddling Tobin’s legs. “No one’s out here.” Tobin mumbled, hands gripping slightly rougher with every role of her fiancée’s hips. “Tobin—mm baby come on.” 

“Chris we’re on the balcony—no one can see us… you’ll just have to be quiet.” Tobin teased, smirking at the effect she was having on her fiancée. 

“God Tobin—

Tobin slipped her hand into the front of Christen’s shorts and ran her fingers through the wetness waiting for her and Christen immediately raised herself up and positioned herself over Tobin’s hand and looking into her girlfriends dark eyes before lowering herself back down onto Tobin’s awaiting fingers. 

“Fuck—” Christen whispered out with a choked breath, both of her hands are gripping Tobin’s shoulders, nails digging into the skin as she throws her head back and bites her lip in a attempt to stifle her moans. Tobin grips Christen’s hip even harder with her free hand, helping to set Christen’s pace as the younger woman fucks herself on Tobin’s fingers. 

“God Chris—you feel so good, baby.”

Christen threads her hands in Tobin’s soft hair and kisses her hard—struggling to keep quiet as her pace quickens and her clit rubs against the palm of Tobin’s hand each and every time she goes down.

“You’re so hot Chris—can’t believe I get to do this forever—that you’re gonna be my wife.” She whispers breathlessly as Christen pulls back—looks into Tobin’s eyes before fisting her hands tighter in Tobin’s hair and letting out a strangled moan as she comes with Tobin’s fingers deep inside her. Tobin fights back tears as she looks into her favourite green eyes—filled with passion and lust and so  _ so _ much love.

_ Wife… She could get used to that.  _

**Yeah I know, I know everything's gonna be alright**

**Golden hour, mmh**

  
  



End file.
